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 * The Premier of the Union of Shuravi Socialist Jamahiris, Azar Parviz Shahin, has been officially recognised as the man with the most powerful genitals in all of Slavia.
 * The President of Kadolha is wanted in seven Zemlyan countries. Known as a rapist, he managed to molest a police officer while resisting arrest, where he then proceeded to run from police dogs naked through the neighborhood. He was caught stuck in a cat door trying to bite a raccoon.
 * The Bogdanoff brothers have ascended to become Gods among men in Slavia.
 * Aki Aladdin is preparing to begin the genocide of all wh*teys.
 * Lipnitian President Vladimir Kozlovski is charged with rape for having a silly moustache.
 * Bloodia declares that Lipnitia is the land of niggers and jews
 * Vodovian man rapes cactus after thinking it was a nigger
 * Man from Reismov is on a mission to pozz all the twinks in Slavia; police and militaries are unable to stop him.

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